Money money money

According to Google, and probably also the Bible, Jesus talked about money in His parables more than any other subject.  It’s kind of like He knew we would suck at dealing with money. We want to hoard it, we want to spend it, we freak out over it.  I have this ridiculous tendency to be overly concerned about money all the time.  It’s frustrating, I know it helps absolutely nothing, and I’m working on it. This month I have really focused on praying about letting go of things that hold me back.  I say these prayers and I like to add, “but maybe just don’t teach me lessons on trusting You with money…or judging people…or saying mean things. How about, we just gently ‘fix’ my issues, with no hard life lessons”. Like I said- I’m working on it.  Sorry God, sometimes I’m the worst.

Last year we had a huge financial crisis when bills for Kenna’s birth came through.  Basically, our insurance changed, and in the midst of Steve’s job changing within the company and the cost of our insurance staying the same, we didn’t realize that the plan was COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.  Essentially we budgeted for 10% of the total cost.  I’m sure that would never happen to you since you are totally organized and pay attention to everything.  Spoiler alert, I didn’t. We made it through that, got everything paid off and then took our children to the dentist today.  Thanks to “deep teeth grooves” and “tight teeth” and “genetics” and “flossing…or not flossing”- one of our sweet girls basically has “some things we need to fix…quickly…”.  Holy goodness dentistry is an expensive industry.  I have never had a cavity, I literally had NO CLUE how much this was going to cost.  I sincerely hope your children have perfectly clean and well aligned teeth and you have no idea what I’m talking about.  Otherwise…I’m sorry.

Steve came home from work today and said “you know how you have been praying about letting go of money, trying not to be stressed about it, and really understanding that it’s just money…yeah…could you maybe stop that?”.

Side note- Since it apparently needs to be mentioned- Yes, I get it, kids are expensive, I shouldn’t have kids if I can’t provide for them, etc etc, cliche internet rants and someone is offended.  Moving on.

Wonderful people, we can handle the medical bills, I’m not in any way asking for money.  But in case money is something you struggle with- know that you aren’t alone.  I will continue to pray that God helps me not focus on myself so much, because, big picture, I don’t want money to define my life.  I didn’t earn any of this based on anything I did.  I was given a lot.  I’m not “blessed”- I hate that word, but I have way more than I need.  I’m just learning how to use it less selfishly and remember that it’s not mine.

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