Warning, this is a rough draft after spending this morning at the DMV, but I don’t want to edit it right now, because, well, I just don’t.
Okay- so my post apparently resonated with some people- lots of hurting hearts for broken people all over the world. So I am refusing to let a hurting heart, some painful words, and sadness be my lone contribution, because lets be serious… it does a whole lot of nothing to be sad about someone else’s pain from a distance and then move on with your own life.
I’m going to continue to sit with my discomfort and wrestle with difficult topics. I need to make sure that I’m not defaulting to “do more” when I’m uncomfortable. That being said, today, I won’t let that stop me from doing SOMETHING other than read Facebook debates on whether or not America/Christians/states should allow refugees (goodness gracious the debates). I won’t judge others for not getting involved when I’m not doing anything. I’m so scared I’ll make the wrong choice, give money to the wrong organization, that I am paralyzed. Guess what, I might give money that might not help much. That could happen. I don’t get to say “I’m not helping because they might not use the money how I would want it used”. I mean, I guess I could, but that’s just crap.
My dad runs a non profit in Haiti. He consistently gets people who will give money, but only if it’s used for “Bibles” or “backpacks” or “vitamins”. I trust my dad to use money where it’s needed. I don’t work in Haiti, I don’t know what the greatest need is. Maybe it seems like something ridiculous to spend money on, but he lives that culture, he lives and breathes that organization and those people he teams up with, so my opinion, frankly, shouldn’t (and doesn’t) matter. When I started thinking about it from that perspective, well, I realized that I need to trust someone, somewhere to do things that I can’t. I know so many people (myself included) who want to help in any way EXCEPT by giving money. We are ready to welcome (or not welcome) people, most people agree that they want to help, but we (me) don’t want to give money. We (me) hold onto it with the most ridiculous scarcity mindset. My family doesn’t have extra money in our budget right now, it’s the reality of the situation, but we do have stuff that can be sold. (Side note- I make no money from this blog- just wanted to get that out there. I do this to work through my own “stuff”)
So here’s what I’m doing. I’m researching organizations and while I do that, I’m selling stuff to donate money to those who need it.
I will keep researching organizations- but here are two sites I found that seems pretty helpful. Feel free to comment with your favorite organizations, but don’t mention the Red Cross, it’s a bit of a sensitive subject that I don’t want to talk about.
I want my heart broken for what breaks God’s heart, but I refuse to let that be all. I will be someone who does something about the pain, even when I feel overwhelmed and small and when it seems like what I do doesn’t matter.