Yoga Pants

I titled this yoga pants, because remember how that was a thing?  When there were 500 articles about how women shouldn’t wear yoga pants?  Was that not your newsfeed?  Also, this is a post about yoga…ish.

Anyways….do you have Instagram?  (PS if you do, I’m “hazellife”)

I follow a ridiculous number of yoga teachers.  I love their calm meme’s and inspiring photos.  I had this great idea, that I could take wonderful pictures in my cute yoga clothes and spread calm and love and joy.

That is never going to happen.

I LOVE yoga.  Seriously, I think it’s wonderful.  It helps me focus, it helps me calm down, and it allows me to release a fraction of the tension I tend to hold throughout my entire body.  I have been told that I can be a bit “tense”.  Weird.

Have you seen the instagram account celestebarber?  Basically, she recreates celebrity instagram photos.  It’s hilarious.  It’s like the “nailed it” of pinterest. (Which I also love)

So, my calm, inspiring yoga photos look like they could belong there.

Nope.

Not inspiring.

For starters- who is taking those photos?  My 4 year old is a terrible photographer, unless it’s a selfie.

I don’t even understand how some of those photos look so wonderful. I swear I can hear the waves when I look at them.

I look ridiculous.  Seriously guys, I wish I could convey to you the ridiculousness of it.  Maybe I will try to get a child to take a picture of me doing yoga.  They are not epic and life changing. There is no perfect rainbow in the background.

Most of the posts with quotes about finding the calm and inner peace within…don’t have kids.  At least that’s my theory.

See my post about Enjoy every moment! for more information on my thoughts about my thoughts on enjoying EACH SECOND.

I am so calm and quiet when I’m alone.  Or at least I think I would be. I haven’t been alone in a really long time.

I actually wonder how people are so stressed out before they have kids.  Sometimes, I secretly hope that the yoga teachers have a child and then think, crap, maybe I need to rethink how I’m approaching this…it’s a bit trickier than “calm your mind” and “meditate for an hour every day”.

I decided to meditate for 10 minutes this morning before getting out of bed.  I meditated for about 30 seconds and napped for 9.5 minutes.  I still call that a win.

I see their posts about “great 2 hour yoga flow today snuggling my puppy”.  I’m so confused about this life.

Part of me is jealous, specifically mornings like today when someone threw a fit because the cheerios on the table weren’t ice cream.  I get it.  I wish breakfast was ice cream just about every day too.  But even pre kids, I didn’t spend 2 hours every day doing yoga, I wasn’t calm and serene in every scenario.  I’m hoping that I am more relaxed after my kids are older, when I’m older, but if not, I’ll just keep writing about my lack of zen.

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